3 Tips for Talking with a Senior Parent about Assisted Living.
Having “The Talk” about moving to assisted living can be difficult for adult children. Here are a few tips to help you get started.
Throughout our lives, we need to have difficult conversations. Some adult children say broaching the subject of moving to an assisted living community is one of those conversations. It can be fraught with fear, guilt, and other difficult emotions.
It is common for adult children to put off this conversation due to discomfort until a crisis occurs. Delaying a discussion this important, however, can put an older adult’s health and well-being at risk. If a crisis occurs—such as an injury-causing fall—you might be left to find a housing solution during an already stressful time.
3 Tips for Having ‘The Talk’ About Assisted Living with a Loved One
1. Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes
This can be difficult, but try to think about the situation from your senior loved one’s point of view. Reflect on how you might feel if it were you being encouraged to give up your home and move to an assisted living community.
While it is a myth that assisted living residents give up their independence and privacy, it can be a serious concern for an older adult who isn’t familiar with these kinds of communities. Giving up control is something most older adults fear. It can make them resist making any type of change.
Also think about the other types of losses most seniors have experienced: their spouse may have passed away, friends have been lost either to death or relocation, and sometimes an older adult has even lost a child or grandchild. Most have given up working and some have been forced to give up driving. The prospect of having to also give up a home is challenging for seniors.
In addition to the losses has a senior has suffered, they may also be dealing with declining health. Being unable to independently care for themselves can be difficult to accept.
Remind yourself of these issues as you decide what words to use and how to adopt an empathetic tone for this conversation.
2. Prepare for a series of discussions
Don’t head into this expecting to resolve everything in just one or two conversations. That’s especially true if the two of you haven’t discussed senior living before or if you don’t talk to each other about meaningful topics very often. For most seniors, it is more likely that the decision to move to an assisted living community will require a series of talks and visits to different communities. Unless you are having this discussion amidst a crisis, set more realistic expectations for how quickly this transition will happen.
3. Research and visit senior living communities
Before you tackle this conversation with your senior loved one, set some time aside to learn more about assisted living. Becoming informed about the assisted living communities near your loved one can help you feel more confident that you will be able to address their questions and concerns.
Older adults in Orange County, California are fortunate enough to have a wide variety of communities from which to choose. In fact, many find the sheer volume of assisted living communities overwhelming. It can make adult children worry and wonder if they are making an informed decision.
If you find yourself feeling that way, we can help. Arrow Senior Care is a free referral service for seniors and their families. We can help you connect with local assisted living communities that are the best fit for your loved one, and arrange for you to tour each of them in person. All of this at no cost to you. CALL US, or learn how it works by clicking the button below!
